I debated on if I would have the strength to write this post. I haven’t made my trying to conceive journey public and I wondered what attention it may garner. Would my readers be completely uninterested? Would they understand charting and how for two weeks a month you feel every symptom known to mankind?
Up until now, much of my life has been focused on me. Focused on what I want. Where I want to go. My goals, my dreams, my husband. Time passed but I never minded it. Year after year went by and even after we got married, I still waited a year to get off of birth control. Time is on my side. No sense of urgency here. We got married and I promised Matt that I would wait a year before I get off of birth control. No real reason why and given that there is only a 20% each month that you can actually get pregnant, it was a bad decision to wait.
Fast forward to the first month I got off of birth control. I got hit with every symptom you can have. The cramps were so strong I was doubled over. I don’t remember getting cramps at all before birth control. Halfway into the cycle I found a website that smacked me into reality. Turns out this getting pregnant thing is serious business. There is as much data that goes into a cycle as NASA engineers use. Charting your temp first thing in the morning (before you move!) but also at the same time every morning gives you some clues. But there are symptoms, cervical fluid, positions, it goes on and on. Anything that can be associated with possibly helping to get someone pregnant is tracked. These things together create a pattern and the pattern tells you if you are ovulating (releasing eggs).
I thought it would be so easy. I didn’t think about my age. To be honest, I’ve never heard my biological clock ticking. Until that first cycle didn’t end in “I’m pregnant” announcement. I had greatly underestimated how difficult this journey would be. Then this opportunity with Clever Girls came along. They sent me the First Response Fertility test. One thing about trying to get pregnant…you start loving peeing on sticks. Anything that will give you a response. But I was scared to pee on this one. The First Response Fertility Test could tell me that I definitely have fertility problems or not. On one hand, that could get me to a doctor faster, and on the other, it screams at me that I waited too long. See, I’ve had my period since I was in the 5th grade. I could be out of eggs at this point. My mind raced and I paced for a good hour (while really having to pee).
Finally I decided to go for it. It’s better to know and have an idea than to wonder. That’s what I got from the First Response Fertility Test. Knowledge. Unwrapped the test and went for it. The test came back within the time and it was positive. Actually the first positive I got on this journey because I didn’t discover OPKs and HPTs yet.
We’re on month three and working on finding that egg still. Every cycle I learn more about what I can try and what data I should be collecting. I tell you about this journey because it’s important. I have found that the only way to get through this is to talk to others (even if they are random avatars on the internet) and learn from their stories. I didn’t want to do this post. I was scared to reveal my personal self. But I realize the impact of sharing. If this post can help a friend feel more comfortable about their journey, then it was worth it. Please know you can always ping me with your questions. Trust me… I am extremely aggressive about getting data. I also love that I’m learning constantly. We’re not pregnant yet, but there is always hope. ^_^