I’m in pain. I’ve been in pain straight for a month. This isn’t healing from a c-section pain, but is connected to my pregnancy. A month and a half ago I went to pick up Patch in his Nuna car seat and felt this sharp, electric pain go up my back. Oh crap I thought. That isn’t good. But figured it would get better with a little less movement.
Then a week later I tried to lift my 40lb toddler onto the Doctor table and felt my whole upper back tighten. I lost my breath and pushed her up against the table. Now she climbs up using a chair for assistance.
But ever since then I haven’t been the same. I thought it would heal on it’s own. Then I got X-Rays and started Physical Therapy. It’s been about a month and I’m no where near better. I can’t bend down unless I do a squat. Sometimes I can’t get up from a seat/chair and it’s almost impossible getting dressed. I take pain meds and sometimes they help but more often they don’t. I power through the pain for getting my daughter dressed in the morning. Or getting Patch to the changing table. But at times…at times I feel like I have nothing left to give. Like I can’t do any more. I can’t push through the pain. I just want it gone. In those moments, I cry. I let it out because I can’t hold it all in anymore. The pain overrides all my senses.
I recently got an MRI and it didn’t show anything abnormal. According to Doctor and Physical Therapist, a C-section takes it’s toll on you and your muscles and it takes a long time with PT to get better. We do some electrical stimulation thing and ultrasound and then exercises. Some days it seems I’m getting better. My lower back is fine while my upper hurts. Then I’ll take Patch out and BAM I’m in tons of pain again.
I wish this would end. I’m tired of the pain. I just want to move. I want to play with my kids without pain. I want it to be over.